Unhealthy Relationships

Why am I attracted to relationships with unhealthy people?

Jennifer Lawrence explained the phenomenon so succinctly: “When someone makes you feel insecure, it’s strangely exhilarating, because you have to keep trying to fight for that validation.”

My Facebook friends also had some insightful observations:

Elizabeth Suzanne: That is so unbelievably true. It’s like an addiction – you get so caught up in the way they make you feel when they’re good to you that you’ll do anything and deal with anything they shell out in order to get it. It’s so bad that even when you get away, you go through withdrawals. The road is rough for sure!

Emily Gallup: I love your addiction metaphor! It’s so true. One of the hardest parts of being a therapist is watching people continue to make self-defeating choices. I think it will help me be more patient with my clients if I remember that they’re addicted to their toxic partners. Kicking addiction is always an ordeal.

Elizabeth Suzanne: Well, it definitely feels like it. That punishment/reward cycle – the high you get when you’re in the reward stage is euphoric. It’s really hard to let that go.

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